I'm jealous of your bromance
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
