...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You took a bar mat shot.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
