You really coming over, don't trick.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
