I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
