the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
