suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
