i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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