Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
