Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
