omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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