dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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