wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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