Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
NoShamevember. You game?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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