you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
