We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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