so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
