So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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