It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
