Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
