Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
