is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
