nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
