My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I wish I only lived at night.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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