I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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