You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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