it wasn't lemon gatorade
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
