i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
