we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
