I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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