The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
