I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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