Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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