Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
