i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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