Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize