More tranny stories later!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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