Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
