You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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