Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
