you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
