Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
