Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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