A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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