I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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