That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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