I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
There are leaves in my underwear?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
