she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize