He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize