i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Randomize
