Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
im holly from the hills drunk
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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