You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I would fuck him just for his dog
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
