i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
