I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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