In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
