it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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