FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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