people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize