I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
