maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Please don't give away my fajitas
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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