I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
