is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
