What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
